Not Just Black and White: A White Mother's Inspiring Story of Raising a Black Son in Multiracial America - Parenting Book for Interracial Families, Adoption & Diversity Education

Not Just Black And White is a different kind of memoir. Many memoirs are glossy overviews of the author's life, with the high points highlighted, glory days re-lived, and the low points touched on only when they have a greater message or meaning. People generally do not write a memoir that blatantly exposes their own weaknesses, failings, or ignorance, but Anni Reinking does just that in this book. She makes no excuses for her actions, and uses her experience to educate the reader about interracial relations in and out of the family setting.Ms. Reinking details the first 30-odd years of her life, focusing mostly on the years between 15 and 30-something, and her interactions with people outside her own racial background, in the United States and in Kenya, where she served as a missionary. After returning to the US, Ms. Reinking, a white woman, married a black man and gave birth to a biracial child. While married, she had to navigate as a dual-minority (a white person and a woman) in a mostly African-American community in Chicago. When her marriage ended, she found herself a single mother, trying to raise a child of color without access to any of the cultural heritage found within the African-American community. Her struggles to recognize and respect her son's racial heritage, while raising him as the only member of color in a supportive extended family, are touching and poignant. She makes no excuses for her ignorance and begs forgiveness for any unintended offenses in her quest to educate herself and her son.In relating her experiences, Ms. Reinking exposes her own vulnerability. She has no direct cultural knowledge to impart to her son regarding how to be a person of color in the racially-charged dynamic that pervades the United States today. She reaches out to friends and acquaintances within the African-American community for answers, praying that even the act of questioning does not cause offense. She shares the choices that she makes, the victories and the defeats, the three-steps-forward-two-steps-back dance that she does while trying to straddle a racial divide that some still feel should be enforced. Her overwhelming desire to be a "good" parent - to raise a child prepared for the world, armed to defend themselves against any challenges the world may present - is palpable within her volume. The fact that she must do all of this AND deal with any racial onslaughts her son may face, as well, makes her learning curve as a parent that much greater.Unlike other memoirs, this book is not a linear story. As one is reading it, the tenor is more of listening to a friend relate a tale over the dinner table. The story is generally organized by topic, rather than by chronology, and Ms. Reinking bounces around a little on her timeline, as a friend would when the relating of one story reminds the teller of "that other time when this happened . . .." The effect is an endearing one, that draws the reader into Ms. Reinking's confidence. The reader becomes part of her inner circle as she tells her tale, because of HOW she tells her tale.The book is a quick read, at less than 160 pages, but it is one that should not be read in one setting. The dilemmas posed within these pages are ones that should be discerned and contemplated, as no one is immune to how they interact and react to people outside their own racial circle. Ms. Reinking's experiences can be taken to heart by the reader, and the lessons she has learned can easily be incorporated into one's own zietgesit.I highly recommend this book for anyone who has interaction with a multicultural person, whether that person is a friend, relative, loved one, co-worker, neighbor, or cashier at the store. How we recognize and respect our differences while celebrating our greater, global community is more important now than ever. Ms. Reinking's book establishes a discussion platform for just this in a racially-charged, divided atmosphere.********DISCLAIMER: I originally purchased this book because the author is a friend, but the opinions expressed here are my own. I did not receive a free copy of the book, nor have I discussed the content of this review prior to its posting.